Facing Doubts

“But he said to them, ‘Unless I see (eido or  oida: know, perceive with the eyes or senses, look upon, behold) in His hands the imprint of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe (pisteuo: commit to trust, to be persuaded of, place confidence in).’ Then [Jesus] said to Thomas, ‘Reach here with your finger, and see My hands; and reach here your hand and put it into My side; and do not be unbelieving, but believing.’” (John chapter 20)

I find this account of Thomas quite puzzling. One commentary states that this text about Thomas “shows either [his] perplexity about the miracle or a certain stubbornness of character”. Either way I think, if honest, we all have a good bit of Thomas in us. We believe but oh how much more we’d believe if God would just allow us to see, taste or feel “x”. I believe that in the case of Thomas, it’s crucial that we remember that he had shared years of his life in close relationship with Jesus. When Jesus was crucified, the pain and hurt of His leaving must have been unimaginable. I would like to assume that Thomas’ confession was perhaps more rooted in his emotions than a deep-seeded doubt. I would also suppose that he was possibly cautious to once more hand over his heart to Jesus after several days of sorrow and grief. We must remember the full context of the Scriptures!

Thomas was obviously a dedicated follower of Christ as we see in chapter 11 of John where he states, “Let us also go, so that we may die with Him.”  If these are in fact the words of Thomas, then his commitment or belief in what Jesus was foretelling was surely not lacking. We don’t have an account of Him doubting Jesus’ determination or intention to go to the cross. I believe that the post-resurrection scene (the main text that we started with) had many more dynamics and layers of emotions that I’ve never really heard anyone delve into when teaching it.

From my thirty years of church service attendance, I’ve heard countless sermons on how awful Thomas was because he doubted and desired “proof” of Jesus’ return. “Don’t be a Thomas!!! Believe!!!”, the preachers would always proclaim. *sigh* We so easily forget our own humanity and especially of those within the Scriptures. I whole-heartedly believe that it’s alright to wrestle with and question what we believe and what we devote ourselves to. It’s not a “lukewarm instead of hot or cold” issue at all, for me. It’s an honest approach to intimacy with my Father. I will have doubts and questions at many positions along my journey to become more like Christ. My personal choice is to embrace the questions and take them to my Saviour.

But how do we know that that’s OK? What if God turns me away because of my disbelief? We clearly see in verse 27 that Jesus actually invites doubt. He seemingly welcomes disbelief! He is entirely OK with our questions, fears and disbelief. Jesus did not say, “Thomas, get away from me then, you faithless skeptic!” He simply said, in summary, “Come and see for yourself. I am here. I am alive. I am Who I said that I am. It’s OK to believe again, Thomas. I am with you.” This is the Jesus that I’ve come to know over the last several years of my life. He beckons me to come to Him just as I am – unbelief and all! I don’t hide it away in guilt and shame, attempting to just ignore it. He desires to speak to me about the matters I question. I love that!

Another account of Thomas seems gravely overlooked and I want to be careful not to do that here. Of course we all love to quote Jesus saying, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” But why did Jesus tell us this? Because none other than Thomas confessed “Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” All because Thomas asked and revealed his ignorance (in the true sense), we have this eternal truth forever sealed in Scripture!

The Body of Christ seems to allow little, if any room for asking questions. The mindset that it’s sin if you ask questions or struggle with believing something is so spiritually suffocating. Blindly following doctrines and never addressing issues that you absolutely must resolve within your own inner man just isn’t spiritually healthy whatsoever. Friend, God can handle our disbelief and questions! Do you know this? He already sees into our innermost places so it’s kind of silly really to not lay ourselves bare before Him and discuss these matters without fear. I know parents who literally dread their children asking them tough questions about church, other people’s beliefs, Christianity, etc. because they either don’t know, or don’t like the answers that will follow. I just don’t understand this whatsoever. I cannot wait for my son to ask questions (he’s only 21 months)!  I long for the time that lies before us to search out answers together! I don’t fear what I don’t know or don’t understand! My Father is entirely able and eager to teach us and guide us.

One of our primary issues is that we’re biblically ignorant. Sure we know prominent verses from popular sermon topics but we don’t take the time to actually study the Word. (A Bible app on your iphone is not it my friends.) We must take time to study the Scriptures! We must sit in the quiet and ask the Father to give us clarity on matters that we wrestle with and most of all we must be transparent with Him always. Throughout the Old Testament you’ll find a phrase to be quite common that I believe we need to return to. The people were often found going to “inquire of the Lord”. Now, not every time, but in most occurrences, the people inquired and the Lord responded. May we be a people who live likewise and inquire of the Lord in our ignorance and doubts.

I don’t know it all and I never will. It’s so freeing to be alright with this simple fact. I may not know every spiritual/biblical question people will ask me. I may doubt the why’s of what God is bringing about in my life. I may even look up to the heavens and ask “God, are you really all that You say You are?” and I’m OK with that… and I believe that my Lord is too. May we be OK with being a Thomas because, as we saw in the text, he was ready to go with Jesus to the very end. Jesus knew this and invited his doubts and said, “Come… see… know…. experience Me.” I’m so thankful that I serve a Saviour like that. His awesome love  and compassion overwhelms and overtakes all of my doubt.

I’m A Christian And I’m Sorry: An Open Letter to Those Wounded By The Body Of Christ CONCLUSION

Please start with the Introduction. The rest of the series: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4

CONCLUSION

To everyone who doesn’t believe in God, doesn’t embrace Christianity, doesn’t look like, talk like, dress like, believe like Us, yes, I am a Christian and I’m sorry for how We’ve treated you. We’ve shunned you, made you feel lesser than us and at times have even gone as far as telling you that since you’re not like Us, you‘re not welcome in this nation (“Give me MY America back!” bumper sticker anyone?). We’ve been egotistical, prideful and would gladly hold Our heads up high proclaiming We’re God’s elite. I choose to recognize that the only good in me is Christ Jesus. Aside from Him I’ve got little, if anything to offer. I’ll do my best to take the lower position and love you genuinely with the love of Christ that called me to the self-less life. I won’t always succeed and at times I may look just like the Ones that make me so discouraged and for that too, I’m sorry.

Ephesians 4:1-2 “I implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love.”

1 John 4:20 “If someone says, ‘I love God’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.”

To the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, yes, I am a Christian and I’m sorry that We’ve turned our back on Your ways. God, I’m sorry that We’ve chosen to go it alone and set up enough self-help programs and plans that eliminate Our need for you. Forgive Us for saying that We speak and act on Your behalf even if You didn’t instruct Us to say or do anything. Jesus, I’m sorry that We’ve not loved others as You’ve loved Us. We judge, slander and elevate Ourselves despite Your commands to be servants of all as You were. We lift our dirty feet up for others to wash instead of kneeling in the dirt to cleanse theirs. I choose to follow Your example above all else, no matter what the cost. Holy Spirit, forgive Us for grieving You with Our disinterest in living lives that pursue holiness. We’ve run on our own strengths and abilities and abandoned Your guidance. I’m sorry for leading the way in disobedience and rebellion, trading in Your way for my own for so long.

Philippians 3:13-14 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

The eternal Jesus came to this earth to destroy the works of the enemy so that I might have abundant life in the here and now. I choose to live in a realm unseen by eyes of flesh that is not established in kingdoms of men. In this place I can see as my Father sees for He doesn’t see as man sees. I want to see like that. I want love without expecting anything in return. I want to lay down my life so that in doing so you might see the beautiful face of my Jesus, the image of the Invisible. I lay down my rights, my accomplishments, my failures, strengths and weaknesses. With all that I am I want to be surrendered. Doing what I see my Father do and speaking what I hear Him speak. May absolutely everything else fade away and in the doing so may the things of this world grow strangely dim. I lay down my rights and desires to defend myself at all costs. Father, You’ve seen the depths of my innermost being and You still love me. Because of this, I choose to go and love likewise, fueled by Your unconditional agape.

Philippians 3:7 “But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,  and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith,  that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.”

I’m A Christian And I’m Sorry: An Open Letter to Those Wounded By The Body Of Christ PART 4

Please start with the Introduction. The rest of the series: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3

PART 4

To those who grew up in the organized church and were raised in Christian homes yet never truly felt loved or understood. Perhaps you were told that your life would be seemingly carefree and easy if you would only just “ask Jesus into your heart”. But years later, even after doing so, things didn’t make sense, life got hard – really hard - and you assumed that A) you must have done something wrong and God was angry with you for your life choices or B) God’s wasn’t even real because all you saw was hypocrisy and double standards from your friends and family who claimed to know Him. I’m sorry. Perhaps you wanted to dress differently, listen to a different type of music or even do something as simple as say, pierce your ears, nose, eyebrow or whatever. Your quest for individuality didn’t fit the religious mold and you were likely scorned over it all. I’m sorry for years of confusion as you sought out your identity in this world. Years of “rededicating your life” has likely done little to help your situation. Your family was probably well-intentioned, but was just passing along a law-driven Christian tradition that they too inherited. I’d thoroughly enjoy talking with you if you still have questions today (no matter what they are). It’s OK to be angry, hurt and confused. If we were all honest, we either all have been, will be soon or are right now. Only a personal encounter with Jesus Christ can make all of the questions begin to make any sense.

Galatians 6:2-4 “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another.”

2 Timothy 2:15 “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.”

To the thieves who will break into homes from this day forward, yes, I am a Christian and I’m sorry that We’ve boldly proclaimed that We will justifiably end your life for entering Our dwellings. Even though We claim to serve a Saviour that told us not resist you, Our stance is gallantly hypocritical. We so highly value Our earthly possessions and mortal bodies that We feel that We should defend them at all costs, even if it means deliberately shedding your blood unto death. If you enter my home unwarranted to steal my television, I’ll do my best to hand you my dvd player as well. If you enter to harm my family, I have no pre-meditated plan to end your life and personally send you to stand in judgment before my Heavenly Father. My life, and the lives of my family are in His hands and the wrestling that I do is not against you, mere flesh and blood as am I. So I will strive to do as my Jesus did and say “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”. I will do my best to not respond to violence of your flesh with violence of my flesh. I know this makes me look like a pacifistic wimp in the eyes of men (especially those within the Body of Christ) but that’s OK. I’m learning to live free of the patterns of this world. If you’re in need, ask. I’ll do my best to help you so that you don’t have to steal to live.

Romans 12:17 “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.” (Read this one over and over again until it’s as crystal clear as it was written.)

Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

Matthew 5:38-41 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two.”

To those who choose not to attend Sunday church services within this supposedly “Christian” nation, yes, I am a Christian and I’m sorry that We’ve gone to great lengths to invite you to Our churches yet have rarely, if ever, taken the time to get to know you personally (We hardly even know those who sit beside us each week as well, if it makes you feel any better). I’m sorry that We’ve never invited you into Our lives and homes unless you “go to church” with Us. It’s hard for Us to relate to others who are “unchurched” so forgive Us for Our Christian-y jargon and church lingo. It’s OK if you don’t want to attend another one of Our programs and well-planned plots to lure you into “membership” with Us. I choose to lay aside agendas and formulaic programs that attempt to get you into services. I give you the freedom to seek God in any circumstance or environment because no walls can hold His seeking out of you. If you’re a non-Believer, it’s not my job to “save” you anyway so that I can win a pin in Sunday School. It’s a supernatural event that can take place anywhere and being in a church building doesn’t make magical things happen. I choose to love you for who you are, where you are. I desire to befriend you whether you’re interested in joining in with what I’m doing in regards to gathering as the Body of Christ or not.

Matthew 15 “Why do you yourselves transgress the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? … you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition. You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you: ‘This people honors Me with their lips, But their heart is far away from Me. But in vain do they worship Me, Teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.’”

1 Corinthians 6:19 “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?”

* This series concludes with the next post on Monday.

I’m A Christian And I’m Sorry: An Open Letter to Those Wounded By The Body Of Christ PART 3

Please start with the Introduction, Part 1 and Part 2

PART 3

To the martyrs and saints who have gone before Us, yes, I am a Christian and I’m sorry that We’ve seemingly forgotten the legacy that you intended to leave behind. We’ve forsaken even the slightest possibility of persecution and traded it in for conformity and comfort. We know not what you endured outside of topical reading and fond recollections in sermons. We teach Our children about you and what you did for the cause of Christ but then encourage them to never ruffle feathers or ever go against the grain. We dishonor you by living lives of silence and secret. I choose to remember what you did Stephen. I choose to meditate on your death and how you were full of the Spirit until you breathed your last breath. As you I choose to keep my gaze on Christ and off of the coming persecutions of this world, even those that will and already have come, from the mouths of those Who claim to follow my Jesus.

Matthew 5:11 “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Hebrews 11:35-38 “Others were tortured, not accepting their release, so that they might obtain a better resurrection; and others experienced mockings and scourgings, yes, also chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground.”

Romans 12:14 “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”

To the other nations that We’ve proudly invaded and eradicated in the name of global peace and our own safety, yes, I am a Christian and I’m sorry that We feel the need to play the role of God throughout the entire globe for our own personal expansion. Wars waged in God’s name produce financial gain and flex global muscle and might for this nation whilst pilfering the lives of our (and your) sons and daughters. We call it patriotism and giving the “enemy” what they have coming to them as well as coming to your aid, even if you don’t desire it. Bible verses that state phrases like “be strong and courageous” have been misconstrued to justify carrying out military agendas in natural strengths. In fact though, such verses are speaking of spiritual might and valor not earthly gain. We’ve sworn our allegiance to a flag instead of to the teachings of Jesus, Our one true King. This nation is not God’s favorite and I don’t expect you to look to Us to be your role model. I understand that biblically, global peace is not in the future of any of the kingdoms of men. Wars and rumors of wars will continue to affect us all until this age comes to an end. That being said, I will choose to lay down any vengeful, wrath-induced desires to eradicate you from existence that may want to rise up within my flesh, induced by patriotic “rights” that I’ve been led to believe I must execute at any cost. You too are created from dust as I, held together by God’s hand. Only His lovingkindness and mercy can save either of us.

1 Thessalonians 5:13-22 “Live in peace with one another. We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit; do not despise prophetic utterances. But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.”

To the illegal aliens of this nation, yes, I am a Christian and I’m sorry that We have treated you as though you’re not welcome here. We double-speak as we revel in the arrival of past generations to this land of freedom yet we despise you and (especially) your children in our schools. I’m sorry We forget that you are created in God’s image as We are yet We treat you as a lowly detriment to our society. I choose to be more concerned with whether or not you personally know Jesus Christ than I am for paying for your health care. I will take steps to get to know you when given the opportunity, despite our differences and cultural discrepancies. Jesus recognizes no races and creeds.

Romans 12:16 “Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.”

Matthew 25:40 “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.”

I’m A Christian And I’m Sorry: An Open Letter to Those Wounded By The Body Of Christ PART 2

Please start with the Introduction, then Part 1

PART 2

To the elected leaders of this nation, yes, I am a Christian and I’m sorry that We’ve failed to pray for you with an honest and pure heart. I’m sorry that we constantly tear you down with our words and primarily only discuss you as juveniles with scornful Facebook messages and hate-filled rhetoric. I will pray for you whether I agree with your decisions or not. I will believe that Jesus Christ Himself will visit you and lead you to a knowledge of Who He is, should you open yourself to Him. I won’t blindly and ignorantly assume that one’s involvement in a political party somehow determines one’s personal spiritual condition. I commit to pray for you whether I personally agree with your agenda or not.

1 Timothy 2:1-4 “I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

To the poor and hungry that live throughout neighborhoods all over this land, yes, I am a Christian and I’m sorry that Our priorities are primarily self-centered. We’ve chosen to erect luxurious buildings and fill them with flat screens, elaborate sound systems, light shows and entirely unnecessary comforts. We spend our personal money on electronics and nice cars. We buy our elementary-age children iPads, wear designer clothes and live in high-end housing while you’re passed over and thrown occasional bags of cheap, canned food (if you meet certain criteria). I’m sorry We’ve not taken care of you like Jesus instructed us to. In doing so, we’ve not just neglected you, We’ve neglected the very One that We claim to represent. I will share my food with you. I will strive to live a less “me” oriented lifestyle. I will choose to continually let go of the comforts of this world so that I might better help care for you. Jesus is your friend and knows your every need.

Deuteronomy 15:7-8 “If there is a poor man with you, one of your brothers, in any of your towns in your land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand from your poor brother; but you shall freely open your hand to him, and shall generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks.”

Luke 4:18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on Me, because he has anointed Me to preach good news to the poor.”

Luke 14:12-14 “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment. But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

Luke 12:33 “Sell your possessions and give to the poor; make yourselves money belts which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near nor moth destroys.”

To the atheists of the world, yes, I am a Christian and I’m sorry that We as a people are largely biblically illiterate and can therefore only respond to most of your questions with “it’s all about faith”. We’re threatened by your knowledge and ability to debate your side and therefore resort to name-calling and religious pride to hollowly “defend” ourselves when We feel threatened. I choose to admit that I don’t have all of the answers and I never will. Furthermore, I’ve studied for myself the origins of this nation and I don’t believe that they articulate whatsoever a biblical foundation upon the teachings of Christ. Therefore I don’t believe it should be demanded of you that you believe or else you’re not “patriotic” enough for this falsely-monikered “Christian” nation. Man-made religion is not the answer to everything and your non-belief is your freedom just as believing is mine. Many of you are more moral and actively pursuing good than Us and that’s surely an embarrassing matter that We must address.  I won’t fear you or write you off as evil just because you don’t believe like I do. I will be determined to study the Scriptures more so that I can be better equipped to respond to challenges and questions that you might have. I believe that discussions with those possessing differing opinions is actually extremely healthy and beneficial for a thriving spiritual life.

Ephesians 4:1-2 “I implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love.”